Shaken Read online

  I often thought my connection with my twin was why I could feel other's emotions so well. Growing up, we were always tuned into each other. I knew when he was hungry, sad, or tired. My mom would claim we always napped and woke at the same time as babies. When one cried, the other would.

  My heart broke when his did, as I'm sure he felt it when mine broke as well. The night my brother and Logan were involved in the accident that killed a young man, I woke up sick to my stomach. I left the party early and was in bed when it happened. I jumped out of bed and was throwing up with no warning. It wasn't until weeks later I found out what Ryder had experienced.

  Maybe I'm overly sensitive. I picked up on the subtle feelings of everyone around me. I knew when my mother was hurting and angry while she was going through the divorce from our father. I knew when Ryder was missing Kallie while she was away, putting me in a melancholy mood as well. To avoid seeing and feeling the negatives of those around me, I try to make it better.

  I quickly picked up around the apartment before leaving for work. It wasn't huge, but it worked for my brother and me. It was two bedrooms and two baths. Ryder got the master bedroom with the in-suite bathroom while I claimed the bathroom off the living room. The small kitchen opened into the living room with a counter island to separate the space.

  We didn't have much since we moved out so young and had little to no money. We had a lumpy, plaid couch and an ugly, brown recliner. We did have a nice, big-screen TV and an antique coffee table Kallie bought shorty after she moved in. Our last one suffered the force of Ryder Brooks in a full-blown rage.

  The place looked decent enough and I was out of time. I took the highway to "town" as we called it. It was more populated and had actual stores, like a Wal-Mart, and restaurants. We only had Minnie's Diner and small boutiques. Hank's was a smoky hole-in-the-wall bar, but it still supplied good food and better times. If you needed anything else, you went to "town".

  I parked my car and walked into the tattoo parlor I had been working at for five years now. I met Brent, the owner, at UC when I was displaying a sketch in a small art show we had for charity. He was drawn to the charcoal I had done of a woman holding her son on a bench. He offered me an internship at the shop and I haven’t left since.

  Brent was behind the counter, with binders of photos and flash art, helping a customer. He waved as I passed and headed to the back room to stash my purse. After slipping my phone in my back pocket, I went out front to see what I had scheduled. I only had one appointment later to finish up—a memorial to a fallen solider. The rest would be walk-ins.

  The day passed quickly enough. Being a Friday, we got a lot of people walking in for a spur of the moment tattoo or piercing. We also got a bit of foot traffic; people who came to look but never went through with permanently marking their bodies. I loved the bustle of the place when it was busy. There was always someone to talk to or something to do. I loved hearing other's stories behind their tattoos. Some had some deep, symbolic meaning to them, others were pointless.

  While I was cleaning up my station, Ruby asked if I wanted to hit a bar after work. Ruby was our new artist who specialized in piercing. Brent hired her when the demand for dermal piercings got high. He wanted to keep up with the competition. She was fun and outgoing with a loud mouth and an even louder personality. Usually we had a ton of fun together when we went out, but tonight, I wasn't feeling up to it.

  I finished my clean up and headed to my car. It had been a good day. I had fun last night, got laid, and did some amazing work at the shop today. I should be smiling, but I couldn’t. Why did I feel so empty?

  CHAPTER TWO

  Scarlett

  Saturday morning, I woke up cranky. It was almost noon and I was off work today. The only thing on my to-do list was the bonfire tonight at Logan's. We never missed a bonfire. It was tradition.

  My brother and I met Logan in the second grade. Logan pulled my hair and said I looked like a witch. Ryder beat him up and ended up in the principal's office for it. My brother forced him to apologize, and they’ve been BFFs ever since.

  Logan was as much a part of my family as Ryder was. Every fond memory I had from growing up included our best friend. He never teased me after that day in the playground and took up the role as another big brother to me. Between the two of them, later joined by Caleb, I was never messed with.

  Logan was the one I could always go to talk to. He was a quiet and thoughtful guy, always locked away in his head. He would reward me with something deep and meaningful to make any problem better. Logan was also loyal and never told my brother anything I wanted kept secret.

  Between the three boys, I had all I needed. The physical stuff I would just find elsewhere.

  I stomped into the kitchen, startling Kallie in the process. Her tiny body jumped and her hands dropped the solder gun she was holding. I grabbed the coffee pot, lacking any grace, and clumsily started another pot.

  "Morning, sunshine," Kallie greeted as I leaned against the counter.

  "Yeah," I grumbled. I hated mornings, or afternoons in this case.

  "You okay?" she asked with her concerned eyes on me.

  "Yeah. Why?"

  She shrugged. "You just seem a little off, that's all."

  "Well, I'm good. Fire tonight?" I changed subjects.

  "Of course."

  I nodded and turned to the coffee maker to pour a cup. I liked my coffee black, so in no time I was lounging in the recliner and digesting the caffeine. Kallie continued her work on some kind of masterpiece. She could take random garbage, and I'm not exaggerating, most is actually garbage, and could turn in to something of beauty. Our apartment now smelled like burnt metal most of the time.

  "I know you don't want to talk about it, but that's just too bad," Kallie said unexpectedly.

  I raised my eyebrows at her over the rim of my coffee cup.

  "The last six months, since Adam, you've been," she paused, looking for the right word. "More reckless."

  I flinched at the sound of his name. Adam was my biggest mistake. The man I knew as Adam for our entire relationship was really named Jacob. I broke my own rules and let myself love someone other than the short list of pre-approved people I had set in stone. Jacob was a con artist and a criminal that left me broken hearted the day before our destination wedding.

  "I'm fine, Kallie. I love you, but you don't need to worry about me," I told her. My heart warmed at her concern.

  "It's understandable for you to be upset. He betrayed you," she whispered.

  "I know." And I did. I just refused to let him hurt me anymore than he already had.

  I used to think I was pretty cynical for being a girl in her early twenties. I may go out of my way to help others, but they needed to earn my loyalty. Trust wasn't something I gave easily. So how Jacob weaseled his way into my safe zone and completely blindsided me is a mystery to me. Never once did I think he was lying to me. I never thought that he wasn't honestly in love with me.

  In reality, the Adam I loved never cared for me and was just using me. He would take various jobs at different businesses as an accountant. He would then launder their money and disappear. Kallie hired a private investigator that told us there were other women that fell for his sham. He would find a woman and they would move in together. On the outside, he looked like a normal guy with a house and wife. No one suspected he was cooking the books.

  The other women, like me, had no idea what he was really up to. We thought he was a wealthy business owner. We didn't know about his meager salary and his illegal transferring of funds. We had no clue of his gambling problem of his multiple personalities. We were just tools in his plan to seem like the unsuspecting normal guy and keep him entertained for a while.

  I sucked in deep breaths, trying to calm myself. How could I have been so utterly stupid? How did I not see the lies? Why did I let myself fall for anyone, let alone someone that wasn't even real? How did I make myself think there was a prince out there for me? I now had a new found
determination to never let that happen again.

  People wanted you to believe that there was someone out there for everyone. Fairy tales and Disney movies lead us to believe that one day you will find the love of your life and live happily ever after. Soul mates were a fucked up myth. There was no such thing as love at first sight, and not everyone was meant to fall in love.

  My life could be lived moving from one bed to another. I could concentrate on my art and family without the distraction of a needy boyfriend. I had the best friends a girl could ask for. I had Logan and Caleb to protect me. I had my brother and mother to love me till the end of time. Kallie was the girl I could always count on. I didn't need anything, or anyone, else in life.

  "I just worry about you, Scar. You've been drinking more and staying out most nights," she said with sad eyes.

  "I'm just trying to have fun and live life, Kallie. I'm fine and I'm happy," I told her with the most convincing smile I could force. I hated that she worried about me.

  Kallie smiled at me but didn't look at ease in the slightest. She continued her creation while I watched silently. She got wrapped up into her work like I did with my sketching. We were transported to another place when we worked with our art.

  After getting my caffeine mix, I agreed to do Kallie a favor. I told her I would deliver a box of new pieces to the consignment store on Main Street. Yes, we had a Main Street. We also had a water tower that teens spray painted, an entire town that loved our high school football, and everyone knew everyone. We had small town charm down to art here in Southern Ohio.

  I waved to Hank when he came out of Minnie's diner as I walked down the walk to Marie's shop. She's been selling some of Kallie's "up-cycled" jewelry for a few months now. They were a huge hit with the teens, and Kallie was constantly stressed about keeping the store stocked.

  I dropped off the box after I picked out a bracelet made of a bike chain for myself. I usually looked through the pieces before they went on sale, but it was a busy week. I hit the new bar built on the river a few times this week and attended the college party as well. I wasn't on the same sleeping pattern as my roommates, so I didn't get to see what Kallie was working on.

  I strolled down the sidewalk in my tiny hometown to my car. Benches flanked with flower pots lined the skinny road that ran through the center of the town. Brick buildings flanked the road filled with shops and apartments or offices on the top floors. We took pride in our historical heritage and the center of town perfectly displayed the past. We didn't have a Wal-Mart or a mall, but we had small town charm, low crime, and quiet life.

  We did have a small grocery store where I bought a few bottles of soy sauce and twenty-ounce bottles of Diet Coke and Sprite. The clerk stared at me as she rang up my odd items, but I just smiled. Internally, I was rubbing my hands together and cackling in an evil laugh.

  Once I returned to the apartment, I showered and spent an ungodly amount of time straightening my long hair. I was blessed with think, dark hair, but it was difficult to tame. Although the bonfires were usually filled with the same people I've known my whole life, I always got primped for them. Who knows, maybe someone would bring a cousin or a friend from out of town that I could befriend for the night.

  Ryder walked in the door, tossing his keys in the bowl. Kallie flew by me in a flash and jumped into his arms. He groaned and pushed her against the door as he kissed her like it'd been longer than eight hours since they’d last seen each other. He carried her off to the bedroom while I sat there like an awkward outsider.

  While I waited for Ryder and Kallie to be ready to go, I opened the bottles of diet coke and emptied them in the sink. I filled each of them up with soy sauce, and then added Sprite to give it the right consistency. As a “thank you” for picking me up the other night, I wanted to bring Logan some of his favorite drink.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Logan

  "Finally," I grunted when I saw the familiar headlights coming down my driveway.

  I tossed my beer bottle into the trashcan nearby and accepted the new one from Caleb. I opened it while I waited for Ryder to open the passenger door for the girls to get out. Scarlett grabbed his shoulder while she lowered herself down from the cab. The night was warm enough for her to sport a pair of shorts and a hoodie.

  I checked her out, lingering on her bare legs before moving up to her slim waist and the low V-neck of the hoodie. Only Scarlett could let an old high school sweatshirt look revealing. She beamed at me as she skipped over to us, towing Kallie behind her. Her dark hair was flowing down over her shoulder with streaks of blue in it. She let her hair get long this spring, which was unusual for her.

  "What's up, boys?" Scarlett greeted Caleb and I.

  I nodded at her as I leaned down to let Kallie hug me. Ryder bumped my fist and Scarlett rooted around in the cooler behind me. I heard the top pop off before she pulled up a chair next to mine.

  Every party was usually the same. Me, Ryder, Caleb, and Scarlett had the same chairs we setup in front of the fire pit, facing the road so we could who was coming and going. The blue cooler was the same one that sat between Ryder and I since the first party we had here. Ryder and I both dumped the gasoline on the wood together and took turns tossing the match to light our massive bonfire. It was a bit of tradition for us. A chair had been added for Kallie now that she was a permanent fixture in our group.

  I started the fire with Ryder before we settled into our thrones for the evening. We chatted easily, but Scarlett was a little withdrawn. She was always the loudest of the group, but tonight she didn't have much to say.

  Ever since her fake fiancé was arrested in Hawaii six months ago, she hadn't been the same. I knew her better than anyone, and I could see the difference in the once lively girl. She wouldn't speak to me about it, though. From the moment she started dating that jerk, I made it clear I didn't like him. We fought about it numerous times, and I think it put a strain on our once solid friendship.

  She looked hot tonight. I thought this over as I watched her peel the label off the bottle she was drinking. Her high-heeled boots made her legs look toned with her short shorts. I glared at a group of guys that walked by and eyed her up. They didn't stand a chance. I doubt anyone did anymore.

  I had been friend-zoned since the day I made fun of her in the second grade. Her brother quickly taught me a lesson and we bonded over the scuffle, becoming best friends. Scarlett was soon my adopted little sister. She tagged along with Ryder and I everywhere we went. When we met Caleb in the fourth grade, he took her under his wing as well.

  Not many dared to mess with the girl flanked by the three of us. She didn't make it easy for us to protect her, though. Scarlett didn't have any interest in being sheltered or avoiding certain situations that could get her in trouble. I was constantly picking her up after she drank too much. Ryder broke several noses after boys did her wrong. Over the years, Scarlett became invincible.

  The sweet little girl that believed in romance and happy endings disappeared when her father walked out on their family. Soon, the secret of her father's affair with their teacher became known to not only them, but also the entire town. We watched her mother crumble, turning into a mean and hurt woman. Scarlett closed up and guarded her heart after that.

  Scarlett grabbed Kallie's hand and dragged her off to dance near one of the cars blasting music. I watched as her body moved in a teasing rhythm. I bit my lip and tried to ignore the looks she was getting from a group of guys that I hadn’t seen around here before. I learned from experience it wasn't wise to beat off every dude that looked or hit on her. As long as her heart was safe, she didn't see a problem.

  "What the fuck are you starting at, dude?" Ryder growled next to me.

  I shook my head and laughed tightly. "Your sister." I shot him a smirk and he grunted. It was better than saying his girl. That would be a death sentence.

  Scarlett would always be off-limits to us. She was Ryder's twin sister, younger by only minutes, and the only family he real
ly had. It didn't stop the innocent flirting between Scar and I, but he didn't need to know that. We always had a strong friendship. She could go to me for anything and I would always be there for her. I also wouldn't take advantage of her or use her the way she let every other guy.

  Growing nervous of the audience the girls attracted, Ryder went to stake his claim on Kallie. I shot Caleb a look and he followed. Ryder would need a voice of reason if he got particularly pissed off. Ryder slipped in behind Kallie, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. Scarlett scoffed and stomped back to where I was sitting.

  I grabbed her arm as she reached into the cooler next to my chair. I stroked the soft skin on the inside of her wrist, feeling her pulse pumping hard under my fingers.

  "Slow down there, killer," I said once she made eye contact with me. If she kept drinking at this pace, we would be carrying her to her room. Those stairs were a bitch.

  "I'm a big girl," she snapped, wrenching her arm from my grasp.

  "Not really," I mused as I raked my eyes down her slim figure.

  "Can I stay with you tonight?" she asked quietly. She gave me a seductive smile and stepped closer, maneuvering between my knees. "I can't stand listening to the love birds another night."

  "Of course," I agreed. "You don't have to flirt with me to get what you want from me. I'd give you anything you wanted."

  In true Scarlett fashion, she rolled her eyes and pranced off. She approached a group of guys that were passing around a bottle of clear liquor. With a smile and a flip of her hair, they passed the bottle to her and she took a few swigs.

  It was true what I said. Scarlett and I often balanced on the thin line between being friendly and flirting, but never crossed the line completely. Anything she needed, I would be there for her. I was that guy for her. She didn't need to use her body or sex to get me to like her, like she thought. Scarlett was under the impression that was all she had going for her.